human, being


Random Tuesday Thoughts
  1. randomtuesdayAm I the only person in the world who has a clause in her divorce agreement stipulating that I get joint custody of the power tools? I have taken control of two power sanders, which usually live with my ex. He brought them over in December when I decided to refinish this dresser I’ve had since I was a baby. I should say re-refinish, because as I’ve sanded it down, I’ve taken off the four other layers of paint I’ve put on it over the years. First, beige. Then sea green. Then RED (really red). Then white. Now, it’s going this dark blue-green color. I bought new knobs and pulls for it, and for the other dresser in our room. I’ll get to that one when I’m done with this one, and it will become Steve’s. It’s about time he gets real furniture of his own in the room, instead of the plastic drawers he keeps his stuff in now.
  2. I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life. I’ve done things to help myself, ranging from therapy to light therapy to herbs to pharmaceuticals to yoga to exercise to more therapy. Someone I love is incredibly depressed right now and will not seek help. Will not consider counseling. Will not consider putting himself as first priority. I can’t force him, but I want to. I’m very worried about him. I don’t know what to do.
  3. Our cats have been puke machines lately. And cat puke, especially wet cat food puke, does not come out of carpets. Even with Clorox bleach. Which Steve sprayed on all the spots. And now our carpet looks like it has lesions. Which means he’ll never concede to having anyone but us and the kids step foot in the house. Which means if I ever want to entertain in this house again, I need to figure out how to pay for new carpets, or better yet, hardwood floors so that cat puke can simply be wiped up.
  4. My boss sent out an email yesterday: I will be in the office at 1230. I haven’t left for work yet–running about 15 minutes late. I wonder how many others are running late today too?
  5. I have a little bit of a cold, not enough to keep me down, but just enough to annoy me. You know–scratchy throat, a little headache, a little tired. And annoying. Did I mention annoying?
  6. I am not pregnant. Thank god. Three negative tests didn’t convince me because I’ve never skipped a period before. This “month’s” cycle was 61 days. I hope that this period isn’t like January’s. Still sucks being a girl, I tell you.
  7. I put it out to the Universe that I want to go to BlogHer in July. So, I logged onto blogher.com last night to find out that the conference sold out on March 18. I’m now on the wait list, so it will truly take divine intervention for me to go. If not this one, though, something else compelling will come up. Still, I’m bummed.
  8. I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with this blog, or what I want it to do for me. I started writing it for real just three months ago. My traffic has tripled each month. I don’t know how to double or triple it in April. I can’t physically read and comment on any more blogs. I don’t have time to repost my postings inside other communities. I tried that with Schmutzie’s Grace in Small Things community, and I can’t keep up. Which is one reason why I wanted to go to BlogHer–to learn more about this. When I blogged on a private site for about three years, I easily got 150 to 200 views on every post, and that felt good. So maybe, it’s about my constant quest to be popular. I write this blog for other reasons–because I have to express myself, and I suck at journaling. I need an audience. Because I am one of those people whom others turn to for help solving problems, and I wind up telling about my own experiences. Because a writer is what I am, as much as I sometimes want to deny it. Now, if only I could figure out how to replace my current income by blogging–that would be the ticket. Really, what I’ve always wanted to be was a newspaper columnist. Since newspapers are dying, blogging is a good second choice. It’s all a matter of how.
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