human, being

Cold turkey
June 4, 2009, 8:45 am
Filed under: Depression, Health | Tags: , , , ,

After four hellish days trying to “taper” off of the Wellbutrin 150 XL I’ve been taking since December (and after another anxiety attack on Saturday), I’ve decided to go cold turkey. I’m convinced that the side effects I’ve been experiencing (email me if you want the password to yesterday’s post) are due to the fact that the buproprion (generic) 75 mg is a different drug than the buproprion XL. And since the tapering is supposed to make me feel BETTER and it’s actually made my life a living hell, I’d rather have the flu-like symptoms of cold-turkey buproprion withdrawal than what I’ve experienced for the past four days.

I should have taken my pill 2 hours ago, and already I’m achy, nauseous and have a tremendous headache. I also feel exhausted, despite actually sleeping for 7 hours last night.

However,about the time I’d reach the crazy, crying, pulling-out-my-hair anxious phase of metabolizing the 75 mg version, I have to be art-directing a photo shoot. No guarantee that I won’t go there today. I hope not (but if I do, I have an Atavan in my pocket and I won’t be afraid to use it). I hope I can say I’m just a bit under the weather today and leave it at that.

This whole experience makes me question using this drug again next winter, even though when it was good, it was fucking awesome.

I’ve had a few “readers” tell me to be careful of addiction over the past two years. I’d look at them quizzically because I don’t use street drugs and I hardly drink. Now I know what they were seeing: this addiction, this withdrawal. I hate it when they’re right about the bad things too.


1 Comment so far
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Whoa sorry to hear it’s sucking.
I wouldn’t look at it as an addiction per se, although I see the point being made. It’s not like you were knocking over banks to get your next fix! Next winter is a long ways off so by then if you need it you’ll have lots of time to talk to the doctors and maybe try a different route.

Comment by Brandy

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